Cheery!

I figured if I added a cute, cheery theme on my blog, maybe it would cheer me up a little.  I don’t feel a whole lot better, but I gotta admit, the bright colors and overall idea kinda made me smile.  I can revert to thinking of all my good memories of this time of year.  There have been good times.

On Saturday, my family got together up at my parent’s house and had dinner and kinda just goofed around.  We did a silly “white elephant” gift exchange (thanks to Lena and Harmony for covering me on that one, because I didn’t know about it ’til it was too late for me to get something) but it was a good laugh.  Got to spend some time with my nieces and nephews (Lena had Nevaeh there and she always brightens my mood just that much more :)).  It was fun and nice to get out of the house.

That same evening though, Bart sent me a text message and informed me that his Grandma had passed away.  It hit me a little harder than I would have thought, but maybe that has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve already been really sensitive and emotional lately.  I already tend to be sensitive around this time of year, but to add everything else that’s been going on the past couple months, I think the smallest things set off the trigger in me and the result is always ridiculous, uncontrollable tears.  Grandma Mower may not have been my “real” Grandma, but she still meant something to me.  Maybe part of it is that I know he must be hurting about it and he doesn’t talk about it and the feeling of Lisa losing her Mother, which makes me imagine how I’d feel if it were me and I lost my Mom.  I don’t think it matters how old parents get, it can’t be any easier when you lose them.  Her viewing is tonight and the burial tomorrow morning.  She always made us laugh.  I wish we had made the time to visit her more often.  There’s no point in feeling guilty now though.  It’s too late.

I finally finished Dustin and Shelton’s blankets (finished the second one last night) and I feel terrible that once again, I have waited until almost the last second to get it to them.  I probably won’t get them to Social Services tonight either, because of the viewing and I still wanted to wrap them.  So, I won’t get them there until tomorrow, then Magui and Geary will have to deal with going there to pick them up, etc.  I feel so guilty.  I really need to make a conscious effort next year to get their presents there AT LEAST a week in advance so they don’t have to deal with running out at the last minute (or having late presents if they don’t have time to get them).  I haven’t got Dustin’s birthday present yet either, so hopefully I can do that next week and get it their earlier than one day before his birthday!

Anyway, enjoy the “cheery” blog theme for now. 

Fine line

These past couple weeks have just not been super great.  I totally accept the fact that the majority of my moodiness, I probably have  more control over than I let myself believe, but I’m just so sick of being me right now.  It doesn’t help that I feel like I haven’t slept at all in months, although that’s an exaggeration… I have slept… just not very much and not very well.  Still, I acknowledge that being excessively exhausted doesn’t give me an excuse to be a bitch.  I don’t enjoy being in a bad mood and I don’t enjoy being so tired that I feel like my mind has separated from my body, rendering me partially insane.

I’ll do my best at focusing on good things.

1. Bruce came up from Vegas Thursday and today and it was nice to have him in the office.  When he’s there, I somehow just feel more comfortable and not as “black sheep” as usual.  Today I was able to have a one-on-one meeting with him (we each did) so we went over some things, good and bad, things I can improve on, things I’m doing well, etc.  It was nice.  I really like those kinds of meetings, because it helps me improve, even (especially) the bad.

2. I’m almost done with nieces/nephews Christmas presents.  Got David, Isaac and Eli taken care of yesterday (thanks to Harmony for doing the shopping for me because I don’t physically feel like I’ve had time or energy to enter a store of any kind) and I am done with Kaitlyn, Taisha, Nevaeh, Jake and of course Heidi, who was my drawn sibling this year.  Well, that’s not entirely true… I actually was assigned someone else (can’t remember now… drawing a blank) and requested to switch because I specifically have planned on doing something particular for Heidi.  Anyway, I’m done with that.  I don’t really need to worry about anything for Zack and Lisa, ’cause Bart took care of that.  I can’t take credit for the gift, considering I had nothing to do with it (the decision process or the actual buying), but it’s enough that I don’t feel it necessary at all to get either of them anything more.  I’ve got a couple basics for Bart (boring) and am struggling with what to get him that will be even remotely cool, or appreciated, but I don’t have enough money to get him ANY of the things I WANTED to get him.  Nieces and nephews are easier this year, because little kids like cheap things like games, toys, etc. and the ones I didn’t buy little things for, I’m making by hand.  Makes me sound really cheap, but hey… ok, the truth is, this year I AM really cheap.   This turned into only a half-assed “focus on good things” paragraph.  At least it’s not ALL bad.

3. Work has been good.  Relationships with certain co-workers has improved greatly over the past couple months, although I’m not 100% sure where (or why) that change came from.  I’ll take it though.

I’ve also been working on gifts for Dustin and his brother Shelton.  Harmony helped me pick out fleece and I’m tying blankets for them.  I’ll post pictures when I’m done.  I’m done with one, but have one more to go, that I really need to try to get done this weekend so I can get them to Social Services by early next week so Magui and Geary don’t have to deal with running out RIGHT before Christmas day.

I have to admit the usual “Christmas Cheer” I feel around this time of year… I’m not feeling.  Other than one particular thing that I’m excited about, I’m not really looking forward to Christmas at all.  Not even really anything to do with the DAY (or Holiday) at all, just in general, it’s supposed to be this super happy time of year and it’s just not.  I’m not happy really at all right now and I wish I could just fix things.  I guess I just need to focus on being optimistic and do my best.  There’s only so much I can do on my own.

Yesterday I went down to Santaquin and saw Kaitlyn and Jairus’ school Christmas program.  It was funny, cute and entertaining, but we came late and had to lean up against the back wall the entire time.  I’m not very good at standing that long without fidgeting and getting uncomfortable, so other than that, it was cute.  They sang a song I’d never heard before, called “The 12 Days AFTER Christmas”.  I laughed so hard I could barely stop.  I had to google the lyrics so I could save them. 

The first day after Christmas my true love and I had a fight,
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite.
Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves,
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves.
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup;
I had to use the three Frech hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake,
for their language was obscene.
The five gold rings were completely fake and they turned my fingers green .
The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn’t lay,
I gave the whole darn gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A.
On the seventh day what a mess I found,
All seven of the swimming swans had drowned.
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect,
I bundled up the eight maids a milking, nine pipers piping, Ten ladies dancing, ‘leven lords a leaping, Twelve drummers drumming and sent them back collect.
I wrote my true love, “We are through, love”,
and I said in so many words,
“Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds!”

Anyway, it made me laugh, which I haven’t done much of the past few weeks.  Had dinner at Harmony’s and stayed for a while, then went and visited Robin at work (well, she was off work, so we talked in the parking lot until our appendages were freezing and numb).  So, I got home around 11:30 and just went to bed.

Glad today was Friday and I’m glad I don’t have to work tomorrow, but I can’t say that I’m really looking forward to the weekend all that much, because it’s probably going to be about the same as the past few days.  *Shrug*

Mad long survey.

I was reading Marilee’s blog, as I do basically every day, and she had this survey on there, so I figured since I don’t have anything else to do at the moment, I’m gonna see if I have the patience to fill it out, since it’s mega insanely long.  LOL (I’m betting she didn’t do it all in one sitting…)

What is on your bed right now?
Blankets, pillows, sheets… probably some laundry I threw on there searching for socks.

What’s your favorite word or phrase?
Hmmm… I dunno, I’m that lame.

Name 3 people who made you smile today?
I haven’t smiled a whole lot today.  I can only think of one.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Getting into my car to leave for work.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Printing payrolls.

What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas.  At least it used to be.  We’ll see.

Have you ever been to another country?
No.  Maybe someday.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
“Mangrove, this is Destiny” and then I hung up, because it was a telemarketer and they’re stupid.

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Mint chocolate chip.  Green.  And yes, it has a different flavor than the white.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water.

What are you wearing right now?
Green shirt (black jacket ’cause I’m freezing), jeans, Vans.

What was the last thing you ate?
Fish taco.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No.

When was the last time you ran?
It’s been a while.  I don’t like running at all… I’m too clumsy.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Basketball.  In person, soccer (Kaitlyn’s soccer games a few months ago)

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Probably Italy, or Ireland.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
I dunno, I rarely check Myspace anymore.

Ever go camping?
Of course.

Do you have a tan?
No.  I don’t think I’m even capable of a tan.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
Yes.  lol

What is your guilty pleasure?
Hmmm… purses?  Or maybe wax, although that’s mellowed out the past couple years.  So, I guess currently it’s purses. 

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
Yup!

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
At restaurants, yes.

What did your last text message say?
I don’t know and I’m not gonna look.

Are you someone’s best friend?
I believe so.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to see “Princess & The Frog” with Kaitlyn, then who knows.

Where is your mom right now?
Probably at home.  She works graves.

Look to your left, what do you see?
Junk/papers/forms all over my desk.

What color is your watch?
Silver (all three of them are silver)

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Kangaroos.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yes.

What is your birthstone?
Um, I just totally blanked on what it’s called… it’s the pink one.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive Thur?
Drive thru.  I truly can’t remember the last time I went in and sat to eat at a Fast Food place.  It’s called FAST FOOD… I need it FAST and go!

Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate?
Why would I be “friends” with someone I hate???  Weird…

Do you have a dog?
Technically.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
Greg.

Any plans today?
I have about an hour left of work and then going home… no plans.

Are you happy?
Not really today, but in general I guess so.

Where are you right now?
Work.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Mostly everything.

Last song listened to?
Um, it’s some Christmas song that’s on the radio and I forget what it’s called.

Last movie you saw?
I watched the end of “Wall-E” last night ’cause Bart was watching it when I got home.  Other than that, I watched “While You Were Sleeping” on Wednesday.

Are you allergic to anything?
Shell fish.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My Vans.

Are you jealous of anyone?
Hmmm… no, I don’t think so.

Are you married?
No.

Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it.

Do any of your friends have children?
Yes, most of them, actually.

Do you eat healthy?
Yeah, we do pretty good.

What do you usually do during the day?
Work.

Do you hate anyone right now?
No.  I dislike a few people currently, but it’s temporary “dislike”, so I’d never categorize it as “hate”

Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?
Yes.

How many kids do you want when you’re older?
1-2?

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
25.  YAY my car insurance is gonna go down!!! AWESOME!

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope.

How did u get one of your scars?
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA!  I have hundreds (literally) of scars.  I don’t know where half of them came from.  I’m clumsy and careless, so I hurt myself often.  I’ll go for the easy one – my right hand, huge scar across the top… that’s from my surgery this July because I broke my hand and knuckle.

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
Like IN the act…?  No.  They caught me OFTEN (as a teenager) being drunk, but never actually taking a drink.

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
Yes.  I love her face off. (Wow, that sounds grusome)

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes.  Plan to tomorrow!  Kaitlyn

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Bart.

Last restaurant you went to?
Um… Actually WENT to?  ‘Cause I got food from Bajio today, but I didn’t actually go there… um, I think Wingers, the day Lisa, Xoe and I went to see “New Moon”.

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
No, it was pretty much terrible, to be honest… other than getting a Christmas tree… that was partially a happy moment.

Have you ever crawled through a window?
When I was a teenager, I crawled through windows OFTEN.

What do you spend most of your money on?
Bills.

Where were you at 1AM sunday morning?
Sleeping.

Ever kissed someone over 30?
Not romantically.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents?
Yes.

Do you like yourself?
Not right now.

Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yeah.  LOL

Are you wearing a necklace?
Yes.

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
Heh.  Heh.  Haha.  Yeeeaaaah…

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again?
Surely, but I won’t even go into it ’cause there’s just simply no technology to given me that opportunity, so it doesn’t matter.

Are you an emotional person?
Very.  It’s annoying.

What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Marilee.  Coley.  My nieces/nephews.

Did your parents spoil you as a child?
I don’t think so.  I think they treated all of us equally.  So I guess in a way you could say we were just equally spoiled :).

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
No.  I actually specifically remember the day I sat and went through all of them and threw them away.  To be honest I kinda wish I hadn’t.  Memories of the past.  Heh.

How’s your heart lately?
Physically, it’s fine (I think).

Are you a cuddler?
As a whole, yes, but I don’t have the chance very often.

Will this weekend be a good one?
I hope so.  I’m going to try my hardest.

What do you want right now?
To not be here at work.  Obviously I’m not very productive (there’s nothing to DO)

Who can always cheer you up?
I think I already answered this…. didn’t I?  Oh, I guess that was a slightly different question… Well, refer to 7 questions previous.

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
No.  Nor do I have any intention to.

Who hugged you last?
Kaitlyn and David (yes, at the same time)

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
Of course.  I think that’s probably 90% of what I wore in Middle School and Jr. High.  LOL

Are you a kissable person?
Meh.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Yes.

What is your relationship status?
In one.

Who was the last person to come to your house?
Harmony and Brian.

Look behind you, what do you see?
A wall.

Have you ever worked in a food place?
Yes, Taco Time.

What would you name your future daughter?
At the moment, I can’t really picture myself ever having a daughter.  Not saying I don’t WANT one, but it’s just weird to think of ever having one.  Maybe that’s ’cause all I have is a son, so that’s all I can picture…?  In other words: I don’t know.

Who and where was the last concert you went to?
Nine Inch Nails, last year, E-Center.

Any summer plans for 2010?
Don’t think so.

What did you eat for lunch today?
Fish Taco.

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
…….going to the movies with Kaitlyn.  Am I experiencing de-ja-vu?

What do you think of love?
It’s the best and worst feeling in the world.

When is the last time you went to a party?
HAHA I have no idea.

When is the next time you’ll go to a bar?
I have no idea.  Too expensive.  (I’m so old…..)

Do you still talk to any of your ex’s?
Yes.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what?
Hmmm… that’s tough.  Maybe lasagna, or pizza, or Bart’s chicken enchiladas.  Ok I give up, there isn’t just one thing I would want to eat for the rest of my life.

Does anyone know your facebook password?
Yes, my mom does, because she likes playing those dumb “Fish tank” or whatever games LOL

Do you eat junk food everyday?
No.

How often do you drive?
Every day.  Well, that might not be true… but I drive AT LEAST 5 days a week.

Where did you last drive to?
From home, to work.  In about half an hour, I’ll drive from work to home.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
Psh… maybe 10:30, because I’m old and get tired way early.

What’s the connection between you and the last person you texted?
She’s one of my best friends.

Do you like someone?
Lots of people.

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?
Yes.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S?
Hmmm…….. *Thinking* (Rewind 7+ years) I dunno… honestly, chances are I probably did.  I don’t think it’s possible to account for every person I’ve kissed

How’s your life lately?
It matches the weather.

Do you know anyone that is currently locked up?
Yes.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Currently.

What do you think about the current gas prices?
I wish gas was cheaper, but honestly there’s nothing I can do about it and I HAVE to have it to get places, so… no point in complaining.

Would you make a sex tape with you in it for 3 million dollars?
Probably not.

Have you ever been so drunk that you blacked out?
Yes.

Do you think that you’re a good person?
I think so.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
No matter how MUCH you love someone… it always hurts.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
I would allow myself to be happy either way, but I’ll answer “in a relationship” right now, simply because I’m in one.

Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
I don’t know… maybe? In Jr. High?

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Couple months ago.

Ever ordered from an infomercial?
Yes.  My hell I can be stupid.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No.

Have you ever requested a song on the radio?
Yes, when I was younger.

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
No.  Again… why would I talk to people I hate?

When is the last time you took a nap?
Um… I can’t remember if it was weekend before last or the weekend before the weekend before last weekend.

Who is the last person to text you?
Robin.

To send you a facebook message?
Mom.

To send a friend request?
Shannon.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

Have you kissed anyone in the last week?
Yes.

Do you miss anyone?
Always.

What does your 8th text message say and who was it from?
I have no idea and there’s no way in hell I’m going to look… unless I was paid.

What are you listening to?
Commercials on the radio.

Have you held hands with anyone today?
No.

Do you like winter time?
No.  Because it requires me to drive in snow and I hate driving in snow.  Stupid snow.

Do you regret anything?
No.  I guess I just don’t like that word.  It’s useless.

What are you excited about?
Christmas… for a specific reason that I can’t say!

Seven days from now will you be in a relationship?
Yes.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
HAHAHAHA.  Um, lots.

Do you want to dance?
Not at the moment………

Who do you not get along with?
Many people.  MOST people actually.  I don’t like people.

What are your plans for the weekend?
I swear to God I’ve already been asked this twice during this survey.  *Ignore*

What do you notice first about a guy?
I’ll be honest: physical appearance.  Not that I’m judging them on their physical appearance, but honestly that’s got to be the first thing you notice when you physically LOOK at someone.   Overall appearance, from their hair, to their eyes, to their shoes… you know?

Something interesting happen lately?
Not really.

Where is the person you like right now?
At work.  If you’re talking about that “one person” that I like 😉 lol

Last time you took a shower?
This morning.

When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?
Technically my most recent ex right before meeting Bart (7 years ago) was Travis Black and the last time I talked to him….. about 7-7.5 years ago.

Have you ever been around someone who was high?
Uh yeah… Me 8 years ago.  EVERYONE around me was high.  Always.

Do you like where you live?
Yes.

Last thing you purchased?
I can’t say.  It’s a secret and I never know who will read this and it’ll RUIN EVERYTHING!

Where are you right now, and how do you feel about where you are?
I’m at work (AS PREVIOUSLY STATED!) and I’m not loving it.

Explain why you last threw up?
Sick.

Where did your last hug take place?
In Lena’s kitchen.

Who was the last person to hold your hand?
David.

Are you a jealous person?
Not in general.

Did you have a good birthday this year?
Yes, it was actually really cool.  I was way spoiled.

Continued……..12/13:

What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
Everyone has the choice to be who they want and they shouldn’t be judged for it.

Do you chew on your straws?
Hmmm… I don’t think so, but now I wonder if I do and maybe I just don’t know it?

Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21?
Kaitlyn.

Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
Yes.

Do you have curly hair?
Not at all.

Who was at your house last?
didn’t you ask me this already?

Do you lead people on?
No.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you didn’t do?
Probably.

Have you kissed anyone today?
No.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes.

Last person you cried over?
Hmmm… technically Bart.  I guess.

Do you cry easily?
Yes.  Extremely annoying.

Where did you go today?
Haven’t gone anywhere yet.  I just woke up (basically)

What should you be doing right now?
I don’t have to be doing anything…

Are you a heavy sleeper?
No.  The sound of Sam licking his balls wakes me up, so no.

When was the last time you hand washed the dishes?
Friday.

Who was the last person to put their arm around you?
Kaitlyn.  Although really her arms only go around like half of me.

The highlight of your week?
Ending.

What really makes you mad?
I can’t think of just one thing…

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
No.

What are your plans for tonight?
I have no idea.

What’s the last piercing you got?
Tongue.

Ever toilet papered someone’s house?
Yes.

Do you want to be married right now?
No.

What were you doing at 4am this morning?
Sleeping.  Or… attempting to sleep.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
Check my phone.

Do you have college plans?
Not really.  I should and I want to, but as of this moment… no real “plans”.

Are you mad at anyone right now?
Sort of.

How many different beverages have you had today?
1. Water.

What did you do today?
So far: woke up, checked my email, peed, came into the office, now I’m doing this.

What is your favorite flavor of jelly?
Meh.  Depends on my mood.  Strawberry, blackberry and I really like marmalade, but not sure if that counts…?

Do you want children?
Yes.

What were you doing at 7pm yesterday?
Watching “You’ve Got Mail”

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
“Stupid.”

Do people underestimate you?
I don’t know.  I think sometimes maybe people OVER estimate me.

Are you named after a grandparent?
No.

What’s something you’re scared of?
Grasshoppers.

Name some of the people you love?
I love tons of people.  Bart, everyone in my family, Robin, Lisa, Zack, Xoe.

What’s your favorite color?
Purple.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Dunno.

Do you wish someone would call you?
Not really.

Is there someone you wanna date right now?
No one other than Bart.

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
Kinda hard to answer this since I haven’t been with anyone but Bart since I was 17 years old.

Do you believe that what comes around goes around?
Sorta.

Who was the last person you were mad at?
Bart.

What is the last song to make you cry?
This will sound ridiculous… but “Trans Siberian Orchestra”‘s – Very Christmas Day.  I have NO idea why.

Is your best friend pretty?
Yes.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yes.

What do you miss?
A lot.  Childhood mostly.

Do you give out second chances too easily?
Used to.

Had plans and broke them?
Yes.

When was the last time you saw your grandparents?
In September/early October.

Doy Hasta!

This week has just been… I search for a word and am coming up blank.  I just don’t like this week.  I’m glad it’s Friday and that I can get out of this office for a couple days to clear my mind and convince myself that having a job right now is GOOD and I should keep it that way.  It isn’t just work, just this entire week I have felt extremely “down” and frustrated with myself and with the smallest things, then to add anything else from work on top of my already tense moods just makes me want to give up, walk out and crawl in my bed and stay there for ten years.

I hope this weekend is good and that my “holiday cheer” shows up soon.  Tomorrow I’m taking Kaitlyn to see “The Princess & The Frog”, so hopefully that’ll be fun.  She’s really excited (I’ve been promising her a movie for a few months!)

I’m trying to get blankets done for Dustin and Shelton (finished with one) but I’m having the hardest time cutting the edges.  My hand is useless!  It makes me frustrated that I can’t do normal things that I used to be able to, but… there’s nothing I can do.  Harmony’s been nice and offered to help me, so I just need to get down there sometime that she can cut them for me, then I can do the ties on my own.  I’m hoping Christmas turns out good this year, even though right now it doesn’t feel like it will.  I guess this week just sucks and it makes my attitude toward everything kinda murky.

I went to the group meeting with Melissa on Tuesday and she and Kent told me that they’ve decided to place the baby for adoption with Kent’s brother and sister in law, who are unable to have children.  I cried, of course, but I really believe placing the baby is the best decision, although it isn’t my decision to make.  I’m not educated in how family adoptions really work (it’s very strange to me, but I’m willing to have an open mind) with whether the baby will know that his/her Aunt and Uncle are really their birth parents, or if they won’t know at all.  Kent mentioned that they were going to leave it up to his brother and sister in law as to whether the child will KNOW or not, so I guess we’ll see.  It upsets me to think that they wouldn’t tell him, simply because I think every child deserves to know where they really came from, but again… not my decision.

Anyway, I’m being lazy now, so I’m done for now.

If I had a million dollars, I’d be rich.

I have an iPhone “Plugin” for my blog and attempted to use it today and although it’s great for viewing my blog, it’s not so great for posting to it.  I was gonna attempt to write a blog entry from my phone and it didn’t work.  Like at all, nothing was typing out.  Anyway, disappointed.

Today, I went to the theater with Lisa and Xoe (and Lisa’s friend “Jody”? and her granddaughter Josi? – ok not sure on their names, something close to that) and saw “New Moon”, so naturally I have to give my opinion.         First of all, I liked it a lot more than “Twilight”, although that could have a LOT to do with the fact that Twilight was NOTICEABLY a lower budget film and this one clearly has a bigger budget.  Secondly, maybe because I’m more familiar with the actors that were chosen to play the characters (still complaints on that, but nothing I can do about it!)  “New Moon” was probably my least favorite book out of the 4 books, but this movie kinda reminded me of the reasons I DID like the book, so I think they did pretty well at sorta “weeding out” the unnecessary parts of the book.  I thought the book was too long and sort of drug out for how little went on in it (basically).  The movie was like 2 1/2 hours long, at least I think, ’cause supposedly the movie started at 2:00 (I didn’t look at the clock when it actually STARTED on the screen, that’s just what the ticket said) and we left the theater at about 4:20… so, if the movie was on time, then yeah…  I laughed at more than a few parts – almost hysterically at one part in particular and I’m not sure why I found it SO funny, but I had to stifle it because everyone else had finished laughing far before I did and of COURSE I cried at the beginning, as I did when reading the book, although not as bad because I was expecting it this time.  When I read the book, I literally SOBBED at the beginning when Edward leaves.  I was prepared to cry this time and I did, but I think I am just better at containing it when I’m in a theater with people around me.  My first criticism, and I realize I’m a pathetic little girl, but WHY is Edward scrawny and hairy?  Normally I don’t really care what a guy looks like when they take their shirt off, but with how detailed Stephenie Meyer was about Edward’s appearance being like “chiseled marble” and his muscles, etc.  I fully expect him to be muscular, sexy and sleek with his shirt off.  So, the second he took his shirt off in Voltura, I found myself immediately thinking “Ew!”  Sigh.  So disappointed.  Most people that have discussed this with me before though already know that I was and still am quite displeased with the director’s choice for “Edward” anyway.  I don’t think he is terrible, and he’s not a terrible actor, but to me, it’s just not EDWARD!  I don’t even really care about the choices for Bella, Jacob and Charlie, although a lot of people seem to, but my biggest complain will continue to be the choice in actor’s for Edward.  There had to have been MANY other options.  Now, I will say I was quite please with Jacob   During this book, I was SO attached to Edward that I found myself angry with Jacob, but in this movie, I truly loved him more and more and by the end felt like I wished Bella had gone for Jacob.  LOL  Just sad.  Anyway, all in all I think it was done well and I don’t have nearly as many complaints as with “Twilight”, so… I give it my official rating of an A-.  Well done.

I really cannot wait until next week.  I think Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are gonna FLY by and I’m fairly positive I’ll be super busy at work, even if all of that is the fact that I’ll be extremely busy trying to get Lamont’s company back in order (Yay!) but it’ll be worth it and I’m glad to have him back.  Then, I have Thursday thru Monday off.  Having 5 days STRAIGHT off is going to be so nice and I really feel like I need it.  It might be hectic and busy because of Thanksgiving, Nick and Megan will be up from Vegas and HOPEFULLY we’ll be able to do something with them before they head back, and I really want to find time to take Jake and Jairus to a movie, since I’ve been promising them for months now.  I really hate getting “too busy” or having things get in the way of me wanting to spend time with my nephews.  *Sigh*  Anyway, hopefully it’ll happen and we’ll get to see “The Men Who Stare At Goats” together.  LOL!  Can’t wait. 

I’m excited about Christmas this year!!! Unfortunately I can’t say WHY yet, because it’s a surprise to some people in my family and I can’t risk them reading this.  LOL  *Squeal*  Hehe.

Speaking of Christmas… so, every year our birth mother’s group does “Secret Sister” where everyone fills out a brief “form” about themselves, then random names are chosen and given to each of the people who signed up for S.S. and then we get to get stuff for that one birth mother and send it out.  Last year was super fun (SUPER fun because I had Coley and was thrilled :)), so I’m excited about this year.  We were supposed to hear today who we had, but I haven’t heard yet.  I’m really hoping for Marilee, but I doubt I’d get that lucky.  lol  Marilee’s just been one of the biggest impacts on me this year when it comes to my “fellow birth mother’s”.  Coley and I have been close since day 1, but when we moved forums and Bart redid everything from scratch, we lost a lot of our old group who never re-registered and just as time goes on, people get on less and less until they don’t get on anymore.  I haven’t really connected with any of the new members this year, except for Marilee.  She just came outta nowhere and she sort of joined during a time that I wasn’t really on the forums very often, so it was like one day she wasn’t there at all and I went a little while without logging on (other than to check and approve registrations) and then all of a sudden she was there and posting and commenting on my posts, etc. and I kinda love her.  If it’s not too creepy to say, she’s like the girl of my dreams.  I know that sounds wickedly creepy, but what I mean is that I’ve always struggled with getting along with girls, which is why I don’t have a ton of friends, because in general, girls are selfish, back stabbing, self centered and frustrating to be around, but I’ve always really wanted a girl friend who could relate to me.  Sometimes I really WANT to have someone that will listen to me cry and care about what I say and actually UNDERSTAND how I feel instead of just saying “I know how you feel” simply to make the conversation move along faster.  She’s like my other half.  We probably don’t agree on EVERYTHING or like ALL the same things, but in general, there’s nothing I can’t talk to her about and have her make me feel like shit about it, like some past friends of mine.  So, is it sad that the best girl friend that I have right now, I’ve never even met in person?  Still, I don’t feel like I bore her and she doesn’t think all my crazy quirks are dumb and annoying.  Anyway… I’m still hoping she’s my “Secret Sister”!  lol

Bart was playing “Team Fortress 2” (??) which is why I came upstairs and started writing, but it sounds like he’s done, so I’m gonna go pay attention to him now.    Buenos Noches.