Disturbing subconscious

Posted by destiny on July 23, 2010 in 2010 Entries |

I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately.  Not just a little bit of restlessness, but most nights, I lay in bed, completely wide awake, even when my body feels like it’s exhausted.  It takes me forever to fall asleep and once I’m asleep, more often than not, I’m having extremely disturbing, scary, creepy, weird, uncomfortable dreams.  I’ve kind of always struggled with waking up multiple times throughout the night, but over the last couple months it’s been worse.  Multiplied by ten.  It seems like each time I wake up, it takes me a while to fall back asleep and then once I’m asleep, a new dream starts and ends up just as creepy or scary or WEIRD as the one that made me wake up previously.  It’s just really frustrating.  Well, skip to the reason I’m writing.  I don’t write about a lot of my dreams, because realistically as weird and creepy as some of them are, I tend to know WHY I’m having that certain dream.  Like a dream about a certain person following me, or chasing me, or threatening to kill my family.  Dreams like that, I understand and don’t make me feel confused… they just make me feel uncomfortable.  The dream I had last night, which was actually the only dream I recall having (if I had dreams after it, I don’t remember them), but it was so disturbing, I literally woke up sweating and almost screaming.  I say almost, because I felt like I was choking and I don’t think a scream actually ever came out more than just gasping.  Anyway, I still feel sick to my stomach just picturing it, but the image has been going through my mind ALL day and I can’t stop thinking about it, so maybe writing it out will help.  Anyway, there isn’t much to it.  It’s not a whole big novel of details.  It was simply me, standing (seemingly) alone, holding my hand open, palm side up, catching my teeth that were falling out of my mouth, one by one.  At one point I remember looking down into the palm of my hand and about 10 of my teeth were in my palm, just as if they’d popped cleanly out of my mouth.  As silly as it sounds, it was absolutely horrifying.  I was SCREAMING and sobbing, having a severe panic attack (in the dream) and no one seemed to be around to hear me.  Even though I didn’t see anyone else, I felt like people were there, but no one noticed that all my teeth were falling out.  I was just standing in a completely black, vast, nothingness.  Totally black, empty.  I can’t even call it a room, because there were no walls, it was just never ending… nothing.  I just stood, holding the teeth that kept falling out of my mouth and that was it.  It FELT as if my dream didn’t ever change from anything other than that.  Almost as if you’re watching a 2 hour movie and the entire 2 hour movie is just that one thing.  A girl screaming in the middle of nothing, holding her teeth in the palm of her hand.  When I say it out loud, it sounds so amazingly ridiculous, I almost WANT to laugh… but it literally makes my stomach knot when I picture it and the feeling of complete panic… just… ugh.  WHY do I have dreams like this?!  This one was just… just SO weird and disturbing and I can’t think of one possible reason why I would have a dream like that.  Like I said, the other dreams I have, even with how scary and creepy and horrifying they are, still seem to have a foundation.  I know where they come from.  I can usually pin point exactly where it stemmed from.  This one?  Not a clue… but it makes me uncomfortable.  It’s not that I think my teeth are gonna fall out, and I can’t describe what I’m thinking, but there felt like there was a much deeper, solid, unavoidable meaning to it.  *Sigh*  Anyway… I couldn’t help but turn to google…  Go ahead, laugh!  But, apparently this is an extremely common dream.  Top 10 of most common dreams, anyway, so of course there are a bunch of different theories on it’s meaning.  Most of which don’t even remotely fit me, but there were a couple theories that stuck out to me, because I can relate in even a small way to both:

This further points to teeth dreams as being related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine. Teeth are an important feature to your attractiveness and how you are presented to others. Caring about how you look is natural and healthy.

The reason that one sort of struck me is because I totally admit, I have been struggling with the fact that I’m turning 25 this year.  I don’t know why.  I mean, I have thoughts on it, but all in all, it’s REALLY dumb and it doesn’t matter at ALL!  Logically, I don’t care that I’m getting older.  It’s unavoidable, for one, and secondly, there’s absolutely no difference between 25 and 24!  Anyway, I do know that this is something that floats through my mind a LOT lately, so if it my TEETH falling out has some symbolic meaning to me having anxieties about turning 25, then oooooooooook!

Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation? Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream may be an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion.

I don’t even really wanna get into that one… lets just say, my answer to this is “Yes”.  But what does it have to do with my TEETH!?  LOL!  Stupid.

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