“Russian ruler of yore”…… wtf?! Yeah, ok. That was question #1-across on today’s crossword puzzle, therefore, I quit.
Lately, work has been really slow. Early January I lost a handful of client, mostly because of cost issues and they went in-house or to someone cheaper, etc. Whatever the reason, the few that I lost, happened to be my biggest. Granted, they’re not HUGE clients and to me, anything over 20-50 employees is “big”, because the majority of my clients are smaller, local businesses (5-20 employees). Because of the few that were my biggest, that happened to fall on the same week (which I used to lovingly refer to as “Busy Tuesday”) things have just been slow. Have I said that yet? It’s been slow. So slow, in fact, that I find myself offering (begging) to help Becky with her work. By doing so, it’s taken a little bit off her plate and I think in return, we’ve been getting along a lot better, but I want my OWN work dammit! I sent Bruce a list of my current clients and their pay cycles and added a nice little note that said something along the lines of “GIVE ME WORK, PLEASE!” It really is pretty depressing. I don’t enjoy sitting, not having much to do and even if I’m helping other people with their work, I still feel fairly useless. Almost guilty… like I’m being paid to do nothing. I know every time I say that people go “geez, you’re lucky!” Or comment how they’d love to be paid to do nothing. It’s honestly not as great as you’d think. At least not for me, but I guess it’s because I’m the type of person that gets bored easily and when I get TOO bored, I tend to get grumpy, so in a nutshell: No work=bored=grumpy. Every day. I’m trying really hard to focus on NOT being grumpy and keeping myself occupied with other things, but sometimes it’s hard. I talked to Sheri about it (ex-boss’ wife) and she said “bring a book!” Again, something I feel guilty about, but… because of that, I’ve started bringing my book to work. If I’m given permission to write when I don’t have work to do, I don’t think I’ll argue it too much. Problem is, I’ve sort of hit a dead end. What I mean is that I open up my “Discovering Destiny” document and stare at the last sentence for what feels like forever before I say “meh, not feelin’ it today” and don’t add anything on. Useless. Ugh. It’s not like I have a deadline, so that’s fine, I guess I just feel frustrated that I’m having “writer’s block” to my own life! You might ask “how hard can it be to write about your own personal experiences?” Um… harder than you think, actually. For one, it’s not like I can remember every single detail from 8-10 years ago AND write it in a way that would interest someone in reading it. I can’t just write “It was a Tuesday and I went to school and I sluffed class and I got high and then I got pregnant and then The End” Uh huh… Sometimes I go weeks without writing anything. Sometimes months. It’s not as easy as you’d think! Ok, I’m done. It’s not like anyone is grilling me on why I’m only on Chapter 7. *Sigh*
I love how pretty much right after I get done saying how slow it is, I get SLAMMED with calls and random client requests. Haha. I guess I’m done writing today!