Baby Steps

Posted by destiny on September 10, 2009 in 2009 Entries |

Today, I lifted my 44 oz. water mug with my right hand.  That might not sound that impressive, but I was very proud.  It hurts, but I can now physically DO it, whereas last week, I could not.  I’m slowly getting strength back in my hand and it’s really encouraging.  Even just last week at this time, I was feeling like I was doomed to have to go to the physical therapist and still REALLY didn’t want to.  I can make a fist now and almost use it fully, I think now I just need to focus on strengthening the muscles now.  It seems weird to talk about “muscles” in a hand just ’cause it’s such a small thing, but you don’t realize how much muscle you have in your hand until you have NONE!

Today Harmony and Brian closed on their house!!  I’m SO excited, it’s ridiculous.  I don’t know if I’m just way excited because I know how badly Harmony wants a place of her own, or more selfishly because she’ll be a lot closer to me now, or what, but I’m WAY excited.  I can’t wait until she gets keys and can officially move in!  *Hee*!

Short, pointless venting:  I’ve been working on deposit refund files for the company I used to work for (and sometimes do on the side work for them still) and to do this, I have to remote into their computer after hours to do the work.  Well, I’ve been doing it for the past few weeks, almost a month now and a couple times a week, I’ll be remoted in, working along, la de da and I get kicked out.  To be completely disconnected from the remote session means that someone else has logged in, even though they know I’m on there working!  Besides, who the hell is using the office computers after hours?  9:00, 10:00 even!  It’s just be-noxious.

Have you ever felt like life is just going WAY too fast?  Like you’re busy busy busy all day and then all of a sudden the day is over and you don’t even really think about it, but next thing you know the week is over, then the month, then the year.  Life just goes too fast.  When I was younger, I used to think that adults exaggerated that when they’d always say how short life was and how fast everything went… well it’s true.  I guess I started realizing that when Dustin was born… because you don’t realize how fast life is going until you’re watching someone you love so much grow so quickly, then you start noticing how fast everything else is going by.  Sometimes, if I let it, it actually depresses me.  I almost feel like I’m half dead.  Like I’ve accomplished almost nothing and I’ll be dead tomorrow.  I worry about what I’ll leave behind, what bills, what mess, who I haven’t talked to and the people I’m always telling myself I’ll call tomorrow, or I’ll see them later, ’cause I’m too busy… what’s even sadder is that although I realize this and OFTEN think about it, I still feel too busy to do anything about it, so I’ll end up dying with a whole bunch of things incomplete.  *Sigh*  My mom says I think too old.  I think about things that people my age shouldn’t be thinking about.  I don’t know if that comes from having a young pregnancy, because having a baby definitely opened my eyes to a LOT of things in my life… or if it’s because I’ve had to watch so many of my friends and close ones die around me, which only reminds me over and over how fragile life is and how quickly it goes.  I think we all *think* that we have plenty of time left… like yeah, I’d like to think I’ll live at least 60 more years, but truthfully, I could die tomorrow… and even if I don’t, 60 years isn’t very long at all.  That’s like… tomorrow.   Anyway, random thoughts… and I could go on forever.  I just feel old!  I don’t play enough!

Ok, my next rant:  Utah sucks at recycling.  It’s pretty much non-existant.  I guess I don’t know how it is in most states, but I think it’s ridiculous that you have to pay like $70 extra per year to have a recycle bin at your home.  Why is it EXTRA?  You should be given a DISCOUNT if you use it.  If it was free, more people would recycle.  Plain and simple.  I’m not saying giving a free recycling bin to everyone would resolve the world’s issues, but more people WOULD do it.  I know this because I would do it and I’m a person.  My co-worker has talked about it in the past too.  If it wasn’t so much extra, she’d do it.  She has a family to take care of and $70 is a lot of money.  If it was free, I’d recycle EVERYTHING I was able to recycle.  I don’t want to pay $70 extra per year to be ABLE to recycle.  If they don’t want to provide a free bin to every home, then I think they should make neighborhood recycle bins available.  How hard would it be to put a recycle dumpster at the end of the block or somewhere nearby that people can use?  Instead, we have to pile up our recyclable things and when we get time, drive 5-10 miles to dump it all in the closest one we can find, which I haven’t discovered yet for Springville… maybe Walmart?  Does Walmart even have one?  Our garage is basically full of boxes and paper and stuff because I can’t bring myself to just throw it in the trash and waste it.  *Sigh*  It’s just ridiculous.  I think I’m going to write to the mayor.  LOL

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