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Long time, no see.

Posted by destiny on August 21, 2009 in 2009 Entries |

It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog and today’s a slow day, so I decided to.  A lot has happened too!  I have a lot of feelings and thoughts floating around today too and writing always helps me sort things out.  Lets see if I can recap the past few months:

As I’ve briefly stated in previous posts, Bart and I have been looking for a house for… I dunno, months.  Felt like forever.  We found one we loved and put an offer in on it.  It was accepted and at the beginning of this, we’re simply waiting….

May 22-25, 2009: Bart and I went on a 4 day camping trip up AF Canyon with his mom, brother and niece.  It was a lot of fun even though it rained more than half the time.  We rode the four wheelers and went on adventures.  The afternoon of the 24th, Bart and I went on a four wheeler ride together while Zack, Xoe and Lisa were doing other things.  During our ride, I made a fairly sharp turn on a steep edge and halfway through my turn, realized that I wasn’t going to make it.  I was proud of myself that my first instinct was to jump off.  As Zack always says, if it’s gonna roll, let it roll.  As I was jumping off to save myself from being crushed, the sleeve of my jacket got stuck on the handle brake, which pulled my right hand/arm underneath the four wheeler as it rolled.  I landed directly into a foot deep mud puddle and crushed my hand.  Frustrated and soaked, I got up and with all the adrenaline that surged through me, tried to pushed the four wheeler off myself.  I couldn’t move it, but got my sleeve un-caught and stood up trying to push the four wheeler right side up.  That made me dizzy and had to make it to the little hill to sit down, where I almost immediately passed out.  Very interesting feeling.  Anyway, I don’t have the patience I thought I would to detail this entire ordeal, so long story short:  my hand was swollen and bruised, arms, legs, etc. bruised, but I thought my hand was just sprained.  Yup, my right hand.

June 24, 2009:  After a full month of my hand hurting and seemingly getting worse, I decided to go to the doctor.  He routinely kinda tapped on my hand, wiggled my fingers around, etc.  He then said “Well, I really don’t think it’s broken, but I’d like to get x-rays just to be sure”.  I then waited for half an hour to do x-rays, got them done, then waited another half hour before he peeked his head into the room and said “Come here please”.  Then, he showed me my x-rays and explained that the bone in the middle of my hand was completely broken and twisted almost completely around, then proceeded to tell me that a break like that was going to require surgery, otherwise I may never get full use of my hand.  Sigh.  Annoying.  He then referred me to an Orthopedic Surgeon.

June 26, 2009:  Bart’s brother and mom come to help us move out of our apartment.  Did we have keys to the house yet? No.  We decided to move out of our apartment to avoid paying a ton of fees to stay “day to day” in July.  We were staying with Zack and Lisa until we closed on the house.

June 29, 2009:  First appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon.  “Tsk tsk” at the x-rays and amazed that I had as much movement and use of my hand as I did, considering how badly it was broken.  He suggested surgery immediately.  I went to schedule the surgery and was surprised that their definition of immediately was “Tomorrow at noon”.

June 30, 2009:  Dressed in a hospital gown, sat and waited, I.V. inserted, waited, liquid in the I.V., throwing up, blacking out.  Woke up… “Ow.” The bone was re-broken, turned the way it should have been and four screws were inserted into the bone.  They also discovered upon cutting my hand open that my middle knuckle was in three pieces, which they didn’t detect on the x-ray because that portion was backwards, so along with the four screws, they also inserted four pins, sticking out of my hand, to hold that together to heal.  This x-ray was taken before the fourth pin was put in (and obviously before the pins were even bent):

I then spent the following 6 days at Zack’s house, drugged, nauseous and in pain and required to keep my hand elevated, which also required my elbow to be elevated.  YOU try holding your elbow and hand elevated ABOVE your heart… at. all. times.  Impossible.

July 9, 2009:  YAY!  We finally closed on the house!  We get to wait until the 13th to be able to TOUCH the house, but at least we closed.

July 13, 2009:  Moved into the new house.  YAAAAAAAY!!!!  Thanks SO much to Zack and Lisa for helping Bart, because I’m completely useless.  Now that we live 20 minutes further south than before, Bart couldn’t really take me to work anymore.  Because of this (and my right hand being non-existant), my brother and his totally spiffy wife agreed to let me switch them cars until further notice, because I can’t drive my stick-shift car and they happen to have an automatic.  I love having such a supportive family :)

Our House:

house

Skip ahead:

August 10, 2009: (Happy 20th Birthday Skylar!)  Yup, I have a nephew that’s 20 years old. Sigh.  This is the day I also got my pins removed.  I was so excited, it was like Christmas morning.  The day dragged on, my appointment was at 2:40.  Bart picked me up and we went.  Waited in the waiting room for like half an hour and finally went back into a room, where we waited another 10-15 minutes.  (Times may be approximate and slightly exaggerated because it felt like a gazillion years, so I’m being generous).  Everyone I’d talked to that knew anything about pins told me they slid right out with no problem and it wasn’t really painful at all.  You’re all going to hell for deceiving me so.  One, just one, of the four pins “slid right out”.  The other three, not so much.  They did NOT want to come out and with the Doctor yanking and pulling on them with actual pliers, it felt like grinding and drilling on my bones.  Blood gushing and my hand throbbing and swollen, they were finally all out.  Good riddance.  Somehow in my mind I was imagining that as soon as those pins came out, I’d be totally normal again and finally be able to use my hand.  After a month 1/2 of using my left hand for everything, I was so ready to be useful again.  Well, my fingers didn’t bend at all.  It wasn’t that it hurt too much or whatever, no… they literally WOULDN’T bend, regardless of how hard I tried.  He said he wanted to give it two weeks at which point he’ll check my progress and see whether or not I needed to go to a physical therapist.

Before:

before

After:

after

August 21, 2009:  The pins have been out for almost two weeks now, my appointment is on Monday and I’m a little concerned because I still can’t bend my knuckles to make a fist.  I can now completelyi bend my fingers though, which I’m proud of.  I’m also typing semi-normally which is a HUGE improvement and makes me happy.  I’m a little nervous at the thought of possibly having to go to P.T, mostly, I’ll admit, because I absolutely do not enjoy the thought of Physical Therapy bills.  Yes, the medical bills have started coming.  For a surgery that was $5400.00, anesthesia that was $800.00 and Dr. visits that are $500+, I don’t really FEEL like adding anything else to that queue.  We’ll see how it goes and I’m hoping he’ll just give me tips on how to work on it.  Maybe he’ll be impressed that I can bend my fingers :).  I got my car back two days ago and can shift normally with only minimal pain.  It still hurts constantly, but more of a “I’ve been in a splint for almost two months and have metal in my bone” type hurt.  Strange additions since getting the pins out:  Every time I take a deep breath, or laugh, or sneeze, or cough, etc… I get a electric type sensation throughout my hand that’s comparable to sticking your tongue on a 9 volt battery.  It’s strange and I’ll probably ask him about it just to be sure… but if it’s just something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life… then “meh”.  I think I’ll live.

So, that’s that.  On another note:  Heidi and Sage came and visited a few weeks ago for the annual Kroeber “reunion”.  The trip this year was closer to home and just up Payson Canyon.  I was still in my dumb splint during the whole thing and because of taking off a week after the surgery, I wasn’t able to take time off to camp, but Bart and I were able to go up and visit.  Heidi went home a week earlier than Sage, but Sage stayed at our house one night before leaving.  It was good to see them, I just wish I could have taken time off work to actually spend time with them.

Home-ownership has been great so far.  Maybe ’cause we haven’t even made our first mortgage payment or received any full utility bills, but so far it’s great!  LOL!  It’s sooo nice not to worry about making too much noise or upsetting the neighbors by walking too loud, or just whatever.  Very nice. :)  I love having a driveway and although we don’t quite have grass yet, having a yard is a nice feeling too.  So far the yard is going to be our biggest job.  The back yard is completely ambushed with weeds and we are still trying to come to a final decision on how to deal with that exactly.  I don’t believe there’s much grass back there, even if we were to get rid of the weeds.  Fortunately the front yard DOES have grass, it was just all dead and we’re working on getting it alive again.  Simply watering regularly has made it jump back up fairly fast.  I think maybe another week ish and it’ll be all green!  Our next project(s) after the grass/weeds, we need to apply for a permit to put up a fence in the back yard, then actually do it.  We’d also like to extend the pityful excuse for a patio and pour more cement.  Maybe next year.

Harmony and Brian got a house!  They found a cute little house in Santaquin fairly close to Lena and they’re scheduled to close on the 31st of this month.  I’m SO excited.  They really need their own place and even better that she’ll now be closer to me!  :) hehe.  David is way excited too and is always saying “we’re going to have a house just like you!”

Eli learned how to ride a bike this week and I was so happy that I got to see him ride his bike on the first day that he learned.

eli

YAY ELI!!!!

Since it’s official now, I can talk about it:  As of this week, I am no longer employed by “Access1Source”.  We’ve merged with “Mangrove” (based in Tampa, FL), so I’m now a “Mangrove” employee.  The main thing as far as anything changing is that instead of being paid on the 10th and 25th, I’ll now be paid every other Wednesday.  I’m a little worried about structuring my bills to accommodate the change!  LOL  We’ll see.  Change is good.

I also have officially decided to write a book and before my accident and having a useless hand, I’ve made it to Chapter 7.  So far, the title is “Discovering Destiny”.  It may take me a few years to write it, but, I’m finally doing it after almost 8 years of *thinking* about it.  Thanks mostly to Brittany for giving me the last bit of motivation to do it.  Hopefully I’ll make Dustin proud.

The majority of kids in Utah are starting school this week.  Of course with everything this time of year, “Back to school” is widely advertised.  This year I’ve been kind of sad in a sense (more just nostalgic).  Eli is going into kindergarten, Jake is now in HIGH SCHOOL (gasp), Kaitlyn’s all grown up and going into first grade, Jairus is a teenager now as of August 1st… and Dustin is going into second grade.  I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to send him off to school in the morning.  I wonder if he likes school and what subjects he likes or dislikes.  He’ll be 8 years old in January, which I’m sure means he’ll be getting baptized too.  Time flies so quickly.  I can’t imagine him as an 8 year old.  The most recent picture I have of him is at 4 years old, so it’s just really difficult for me to picture him as such a big kid.  I was SO amazingly grateful to receive a letter from Magui and Geary a couple months ago.  It put my mind at ease so that I at least know that he’s alright.  Having pictures from him that HE drew was even more uplifting.  I guess it proves to my mind that he’s “real”.  They said that they would try to write more often and maybe they’ll stick to the once a year, which I’d be more than happy to have… but I wish I knew more about him… just what kind of things he likes and what he’s good at, etc.  Sometimes I see Kaitlyn, just 10 months younger than Dustin, and imagine him fairly similar to her, as far as losing teeth and the little kid goofy stages.  Maybe I’ll get a picture next year :)  …I can dream!

Recently (at Jairus’ birthday party actually) I found out that my best friend of 22 years; Melissa, is pregnant.  It was a shock… and I didn’t handle it very well.  I’m handling it better now, mostly because there’s no point in dwelling on things you can’t control.  It’s happened, it’s fact, so the only logical thing to do is just prepare for what the future may bring and deal with reality.  This wasn’t a planned pregnancy, to say the least, and she’s not quite sure what she’s doing.  Whether she’ll keep and raise the baby, or decide to place it for adoption.  Either way, I have a lot of emotions attached to both scenarios and my heart aches for her.  People tend to believe that just because I placed my son for adoption, that I would think EVERYONE should do the same.  This is so extremely untrue.  First of all, just because you have an unplanned pregnancy, doesn’t immediately mean that you have to place it for adoption.  Everyone has different scenarios and are at different stages in life.  Adoption is absolutely NOT right for everyone and it doesn’t matter what other people think.  I have views/opinions on what I think about Melissa’s situation, but regardless, I would never intentionally sway her either way.  It’s her decision and no one elses.  I just pray for the best.

Well, that pretty much sums up the past 3 ish months.  LOL!  Maybe I’ll be more active on updating this.  (We can pretend)

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