Posted by destiny on October 24, 2008 in 2008 Entries |

I always feel one of two things when I hear “T.G.I.F”  #1 being me in like… 5th grade?  My friends and I yelling that on our way out the door the second the ending bell would ring.  Then #2… T.G.I.Fridays… mmm they have really good Jack Daniels chicken.

I feel relieved that I lived through this week.  My final week of cleaning up the black sheep of my Quarterlies (finishing my LAST one yesterday at approximately 16:48 – 12 minutes before I leave work.  Talk about cutting it close.)  I went home after work yesterday and did a vigorous 45 minutes Turbo Jam and then I don’t even know how many crunches… I somehow had my mind a million miles away and then realized I had lost count probably 50+ crunches ago.  I dunno.  Washed the dishes, had dinner, went to bed.  Mostly. I’ve been feeling fairly dull lately.  In my mind.  I don’t know where it’s coming from, but I don’t like it.  It’s almost as if I just want to completely be alone, which seems strange considering how much I’m craving attention right now.  Is this my way of subconsciously protecting my feelings?  I want attention and I’m not getting it, so instead my mind reverts to convincing myself that I want to be alone. Sure, that makes sense.

I’m anxious for today to end.  I’m basically done with all work that needs to be done this week and now the remaining 3.5 hours of my work day very well may consist of me sitting at my desk, browsing through Sparkpeople recipes until I find something I can make with what I have in my fridge.  I’m leaning toward Lena’s “Italian Meatloaf”, mostly just because I’ve never made meatloaf before and I wanna feel cool.  I’m really trying to find some variety with dinner, because really I think we eat the same stuff all the time.  Basically.  I’ve discovered one thing, just by reading articles and then googling like crazy.  I think my problem with losing weight (or I guess the fact that I’m just not losing as QUICKLY as I should be – according to my doctor) is that we eat way too many “Empty carbs”.  Mostly consisting of white flour = ie. white bread, pasta, potatoes, white rice.  I’m gonna have to sit down and talk to Bart and hopefully he’ll be on board with me, because I don’t know if I could stick to it if he doesn’t.  I’m basically wanting to convert everything we eat to whole wheat.  Whole wheat bread (which I’m sure he won’t object to), whole wheat pasta (don’t think he’ll care TOO much) and brown rice instead of white.  That’s where the main problem is!  Bart LOVES white rice.  Sticky rice.  I don’t think brown rice is “sticky”.  We eat rice a lot, not to mention we still have like a 50+ lb. bag of it, so I don’t know about this.  I need to focus more on fruits and veggies and I would have no problem with it.  I love almost all fruit and really, really not too picky with veggies.  My problem is mostly that around this area, it’s kind of hard to get GOOD fruits and vegetables.  I should just grow a garden on my 5 foot patio.  Yeah, that’d be cool.  Or a house.  That’d be cooler.

I got a paper cut on my hand, in between my thumb and pointer finger… and it hurts.

I’ve been trying not to stress about Christmas coming up.  I realize that it’s still 2 months away, but I should have started Christmas shopping months ago.  I tend to get a little overly worried about getting Dustin a present.  I don’t like getting him toys or things that he’s going to grow out of or not need, etc. so I have a hard time thinking of things that I really want him to have.  I think I may have decided for this year (and this depends on how much it ends up being) but I want to get a puzzle done out of a picture.  What picture?  I don’t know yet.  I want to find a good book too, maybe something about Birth mother’s/birth son.  I want to get Shelton something as well, but it’s a little easier because I don’t need to be sentimental with him.  I just don’t want him to be left out.  Then Dustin’s birthday is only a couple weeks after Christmas, so I usually send both gifts together.  I haven’t made up my mind yet.  As for everyone else (family)… It’s money that I’m stressed about.  Blaaaah.  Maybe I should just admit defeat and tell everyone that I can’t afford Christmas this year and Dustin will be the only one that gets ANYTHING.  lol

So, I have to admit that I am fairly nervous about voting this year.  It’s only about a week 1/2 away and to be honest, my decision on who to vote for (McCain or Obama) has changed every week.  I still haven’t decided who I’m going to vote for because the simple fact is, I don’t like either of them at all!  I’m trying to weigh the pros and cons and figure out which one I dislike the least and maybe stick with that one.  The debates thus far have been almost comical and more than half the time I feel like I might as well be watching high school cheer leaders fight over who’s prettier, or a “he-said-she-said” bickering married couple.  Oh, I don’t know.  I feel like I need to vote, but I’m so stuck.  Maybe I will just vote for Joe Shmo so I can feel like I contributed, but won’t have a part in either of the whining babies being put into the office.  I better make a decision fast.  *Sigh*

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