Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Today’s horoscope:

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Instead of thinking about everyone else’s needs, put yourself first for a change. This is not about being unconsciously selfish. It’s about acknowledging that love of others begins with developing your self-esteem. If you don’t take adequate care of yourself, then you won’t have very much to give anyone else.

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Today has been fairly depressing.  Really it’s just the mentality I’ve been stuck in since last week when I realized that we really aren’t going to be able to get a house anytime really soon.  It’s frustrating and depressing that my credit is what causes us to not be able to have a house.  I’m tired of living in an apartment and throwing away $900 every month.  Hopefully we can try again soon.

Today was the weigh in and I’ve gained 2 lbs.  Extremely depressing.  I haven’t GAINED weight for quite a while and it’s really depressing to see numbers go up.  I’m sure it’s got to be because of this mental slump I’m in.  Even when I work out, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything “inside”.  Usually I would feel really good and energetic and happy after a tough workout and now it’s just “Blah”.  Well, I shouldn’t say that as if it’s all the time… it’s just been the past week ish.  I’m so happy for Lena, who has finally hit her goal weigh of 125 and looks amazing, and Heather has lost weight too and the other day Heidi posted “before” pictures and then current pictures and she looks awesome too.  I don’t look any different at all.  Obviously they must be working harder than me and I can’t make excuses for myself.  I just feel like I’m doing all the same things everyone else is, but I’m not losing the weight they are.  *Sigh*.  I am happy for them though.  The Biggest Loser Challenge #8 starts on October 7th and I’m definitely returning to that challenge.  This time my ribs aren’t broken and I won’t have excuses!

I’m going to Heather and Christopher’s tonight to watch the boys and am hoping I can get some type of exercise in there, even if it’s just a walk or running around the yard with them.

I’ve been balancing quarterlies this week since I’ll need to start actually running them next week.  Hopefully this quarter goes smoothly.