On this day, 1 year ago…

Wow.  Our baby is a full year old.  What an amazing and surreal feeling.  This tiny little person that was once building her body inside mine has been in our home, in our life and in our arms for 12 full months.  It’s so amazing for me to watch her develop and grow and learn every single day.  She literally changes every single day.  I love the person that she is.  She has such a spunky, energetic, happy, silly, loving personality and I love watching her become her own person as time goes on.

Surreal.  That’s going to be the magic word probably throughout this entire post because it’s the only word that even comes close to this feeling.  It’s even hard for me to put into words what I’m thinking… but I’ll just keep writing and see what comes out.  Sometimes I can’t believe how blessed I am to be this girl’s Mother.  So often I find myself looking at her, amazed that she is here and she is mine.  Ours.  I can’t help but think about how different it felt to wake up this morning, knowing that today marks the day my baby was born, and not feel “sad” the way I do on Dustin’s birthday.  That probably sounds bad, but it’s true.  I feel sadness on his birthday’s.  Obviously it’s sadness for myself, but regardless, I’m not excited for that day.  Maybe someday I will be.  I was excited this morning.  I woke up super early (no idea what time is was… I specifically made myself NOT look at the clock, but the sun was not up yet 😛 ) and just waited for her to wake up.  The second she made a noise, I got out of bed and checked the monitor.  Long story short, she slept in until almost 9:15 (SHEESH!) so I just sat around and waited for her for hours!  LOL  When she finally woke up and I was sure she was actually awake (standing up, bouncing on her bed, babbling “mamamamadadadadadababababababa”) Bart and I went into her room and as I normally do in the morning, I went in and said “wheeeere’s Ameeeeelia?” and I got a squeal and this face in return:

Well?  What can I say…?

Oh how amazing it feels to be able to hold and hug and kiss my baby on the anniversary of her birth.  Something about it is just indescribable and I had no idea how it was going to feel, but she is real, she is here and she is mine and there are really no words that exist to adequately describe this feeling.

Of course there is a part of me that feels “sad” that this baby is growing up so, so quickly, but there is a huge amount of joy that comes from watching it happen.  It’s also nice to know that WE are responsible for her and the ridiculously awesome little person that she is.  We did that.  We’re doing that.  LOL  It’s amazing.

Bart took today off, so the three of us went out to breakfast at Denny’s together.  Amelia got a celebratory (FREE) bowl of banana slices for reaching such a momentous milestone in life and we enjoyed our morning as a family.  I don’t think I will ever get tired of being with these two.

We went to Petsmart and visited the kitties and of course Amelia’s favorite, the fish:

Then we went on a drive for a while, saw cows, horses, sheep and birds and made sounds for each of them, then came home and with a massive energy boost, climbed up and down the couches (which she has only been able to do since last night) and giggled like crazy until nap time.

We had a birthday party with all the Kroeber’s on Saturday at Heather and Christopher’s house (I’ll try to remember to post pictures later on when Heather is able to go through them – THANK YOU Heather for being willing to be an unpaid photographer) which was so great for me.  I know that Amelia isn’t going to remember it and I know that Bart didn’t really think it was necessary, but of course he was supportive and went along with what I wanted to do because it really meant something to me.  And I was so grateful to be with my family to celebrate it.  They are the only people that really understand me and why something like this would mean something extra to me.  I was pretty proud of myself for not being overly emotional about it, but I admit I did start to tear up pretty heavily in the middle of everyone singing “Happy Birthday” to her… That was just when it really hit me and I was so overcome with happiness that I was actually having a birthday party for MY baby.  Harmony made a delicious cake with cupcakes surrounding it (it’s a clock, because Amelia is pretty obsessed with clocks!) and Amelia LOVED it.

I was pretty surprised that when she dove into the cupcake, that she didn’t seem to mind the frosting stuck on her hands.  Normally she does not like things stuck to her fingers, but she just kept shoveling it in and smashing it into her mouth until the whole thing was gone.  I had told myself I wanted to get a video of it, but of course while it was happening, I didn’t think about it.  I am hoping Heather got some decent pictures of the process.  As usual when Heather tries to take pictures of Amelia, she (meaning Amelia) was pretty tired and not super energetic (bless Heather for still trying, even though the Photographer in her probably cringes at NOT getting perfect pictures!) but it was very fun and overall Amelia was happy the whole time.

Tonight Lisa, Zack and Xoe came over and we had a little party, just the 6 of us (7, including Gideon, of course).  It was a lot of fun and of course, she got tons of stuff from them.  Lots of awesome books (with the thick pages that are easy for her to turn herself without ripping) and as usual, lots of clothes!  I think between Lisa and Zack, we’ll probably never have to buy Amelia clothes until she’s a teenager. LOL  Really though, I appreciate them so much.  And I love that they love Amelia so much.  Since we had an entire cake left over from her party on Saturday (since Harmony made tons of cupcakes, the cake itself wasn’t touched), I had just kept it in the fridge and we had it tonight.  After thought: I should have taken the cake out of the fridge a while before we intended on eating it because the frosting was cold, so kind of firm.   It still tasted just as delicous, but would have been a little funner for them to see Amelia swim in the frosting the way she did on Saturday. Heh.  Anyway, it was a lot of fun.  She certainliy made enough of a mess that we just hosed her down in the tub (thank goodness for the shower “hose” extension 😛 ) and put her in one of her many new sets of jammies.  BIG kid pajamas with no feeties!  (I tried to get a picture, but she wouldn’t hold still long enough… but the ones she’s wearing right now in bed are Care Bear ones.)

What a crazy, loving, fun filled weekend this has been.  Now it has passed and our baby is 1 year old.  Before we know it, she’ll be 2… and 20.  LOL  What an amazing adventure.